


A bride for the Danish bachelor

by VyraFinn



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sad Denmark and possessive Norway but still no angst, and has an American seal of approval too, author is a Nordic, knows America only from TV and social media, oh how tables are turned here, that probably shows, this story is Canadian approved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 03:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14887188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VyraFinn/pseuds/VyraFinn
Summary: It was supposed to be just a normal trip over Atlantic. All Denmark was planning to do was to go around his embassies, check in with some companies, and spend some quality time with local personifications because it had been while since he met them last time. Unfortunately, things didn’t really go like that. Due to some honest mistakes, Denmark ends up starring a new, romantic reality TV-program and he can’t quit in fear of revealing the secret. It is just a game and the love on the screen is never real, but still Norway wasn’t going to be happy at all.





	1. Chapter 1

“Shit”, Denmark said, and repeated the word few times more while pacing around in the small hotel room and waiting for the phone call to connect, “hey, you gotta help me!”

“Help what?” America asked and yawned. Normally Denmark would have felt sorry about waking up the other nation, but right then he was panicking. The sun had barely started to rise so the hotel room was just dim enough for the Dane almost hit himself on furniture while he moved around, but he didn’t really waste his thoughts on that.

“I fucked up”, Denmark said and groaned, “I really fucked up.”

“Calm down, man”, America said, sounding bit worried but also confused, “explain slowly so I can follow.”

“Yeah, explain slowly. I can do that”, Denmark muttered and took few deep breaths before he continued, “you remember that creepy guy we met at the bar yesterday?”

“Yeah, I recall him”, the American replied, “the one who kept talking about how he can make you famous and rich and bullshit like that?”

“That guy”, Denmark nodded slightly though nobody was in the room to see it, “so he came back after you left, and we talked a bit. I thought he was kinda okay.”

“Uh, this doesn’t sound like he was.”

“Yeah”, Denmark said sadly, “I got pretty drunk after a while. I don’t really know how, it usually takes much longer.”

“Dude, I saw you mixing alcohols”, America noted, “gets you drunk way faster when you do that.”

“Yeah, right, I kinda wanted to try different things”, Denmark muttered, “well, anyway, I was drunk, and I didn’t notice that this guy just kept giving his drinks to me so…”

“Okay, should I call FBI now or?”

“I dunno, can they help?”

“Sometimes yeah.” Denmark sighed again and buried his face in his hands.

“I really fucked up”, he repeated with a quiet voice, “that guy made me sign some stupid papers.”

“And?”

“And now I have accepted to be part of this reality TV show about some guy who has to select a bride among twenty women and win money or something”, Denmark said fast, still not believing it himself. There was a long silence before America spoke up again.

“Dude, who are you gonna be in this TV-show?” he asked, “shit, I have so bad feelings about this.”

“I will be the ‘lucky’ guy looking for a bride and chance to get rich”, Denmark said, “Norge will kill me.”

“Shit”, America said, “okay, wait there, I will come over just in sec.”

“Okay”, Denmark said with depressed tone, hoping that the American personification would come up with something he had missed when looking for way to fix his mistake.

*****

“Oh fucking shit”, America cursed and read the signed papers once again just to be sure he had checked every single part, “they are good, I have to say.”

“Can you not add my misery”, Denmark asked. The two nations had completely ignored their duties for the day and instead focused on how to get the Dane out of the problems. So far nothing had worked, and they were starting to run out of ideas.

“Sorry, dude, I am just stating the facts”, the American said, and Denmark nodded sadly. They had already tried to call off the deal, but apparently the producing team didn’t want to give up their new star and plans, no matter if everybody knew the show was going to be horrible anyway. It was going to bring them lots of money, so they refused to back off. The conversation between the personification of United States and his stubborn people would have amused Denmark a lot if he wasn’t the one having a horrifying fate looming over him. America had really tried everything he could, starting from threatening with suing the whole company down to calling his boss for help. Nothing had helped.

“How come it is possible that they can just get somebody drunk and then claim the contract valid?” Denmark asked, getting a shrug for a reply.

“That is just how it is”, America replied.

“In my land that contract would be declared invalid because I was drunk when I signed.”

“Yeah, stop bragging about your stuff and help me to help you”, America said, “did you already called your boss?”

“Yeah, I did”, Denmark said. In fact, he had done it first when he realized what he had done. His boss had been just as shocked as the personification, although he didn’t seem to be so worried about Denmark having his love life killed, but more about how this all could affect the nation. He had promised to return after he had called in the emergency meeting and see what the best solution would be. Then Denmark had called his queen for some comfort and talk. So far, he hadn’t dare to contact anybody from his family, and he knew they were starting to get worried about not hearing from the Dane for the entire day. He had had to turn his phone to mute after several calls had come in.

“I dunno what we should do next”, America admitted and grimaced, “are you sure you are gonna be killed? I thought you are a strong guy? England always says you guys were fucking terrifying back then when you popped up at his place without getting invited.” Denmark gave the American a long look and nodded slowly.

“Yeah”, he said, “but it was Nor who did the most terrifying stuff. I am gonna be dead.”

“Uh”, America said with a slight shrug, “I am gonna call Canada to help. He knows lot of stuff.”

“Okay”, Denmark muttered and with a sharp pain in his heart he ignored the phone on the night desk. Once again it had lit for received message or call.

Unfortunately, Canada had nothing new to give, but he came over anyway for support and in case the situation changed. The three nations ended up sitting in Denmark’s hotel room, each doing whatever they thought would help them to find a solution. Because Denmark didn’t want to have rumours going around, there was a too big risk of Norway catching on, they weren’t trying to ask advice from other nations. America was calling his officers, frantically talking to get them to do something. His loud voice and almost threatening speech wasn’t bothering two other nations much, mostly because Canada had got used for it already long time ago, and Denmark was too busy with thinking about his looming doom and ignoring his family’s tries to get in contact with him. He was laying on bed, Canada sitting next to him and trying to find something from Internet. He was self-learning about the politics and law to see if there was something that would give them legal stand to call off the contract without getting deeper into problems.

Finally, their wait ended when Denmark’s boss called back. It was already past midnight, but at that moment nobody cared about time zones.

“Danmark”, the human said with a small sigh, and the nation knew he wasn’t going to get good news, “I have to say you managed to get us in big problems this time.”

“I know”, Denmark muttered. He had already ignored five calls from Norway and Iceland each, three from Finland and two even from Sweden, and he hadn’t even dared to count all the messages they had left.

“However, because this is a matter of national security, we hold an emergency meeting and we have found a solution that should keep your and the secret save”, the boss said.

“Okay.”

“You will not like this”, he said before starting to explain, “the contract can’t be called off unless we step in officially or you sue them. Both ways are too risky as the direct contact from Danish government only to bail out a citizen who got too drunk or you taking this case to court would cause too much attention. Neither will we use any more serious ways for now.”

“Okay.”

“So, the emergency meeting ended up deciding that you will have to go through this.”

“But…” Denmark said, but his boss had been prepared for the nation’s disagreement.

“Danmark”, he said sternly, “it is the only. I know you don’t like it but let this be a lesson for you.”

“I was tricked into this!”

“Which means you should be even more careful”, his boss said, not showing any sympathy, “Danmark, this situation is potentially dangerous for not only to your but for your land and people. That is why you have to do this, keep low profile, and be a normal Danish man without any ties to the government.”

“You mean I have to do all they want for the show?” Denmark asked.

“Yes. I know you don’t like this, but it is the only way.”

“Okay”, Denmark muttered, his head hanging low and eyes closed, “I understand.” He did understand. He had already spent whole day with thinking all the worst-case scenarios.

“We will ask somebody else to cover you for the most important tasks, so you can focus on being completely average human”, his boss said, “I am sure Sverige or Nor…”

“No!” Denmark said quickly, startling his boss, “don’t tell them!”

“Danmark…”, the man sighed.

“Please”, the Danish nation tried.

“Danmark, we have a deal with other Nordic countries just for cases like this”, his boss said, “and we need somebody to do the most critical tasks while you are away. If we ask somebody else, our Nordic neighbours will assume we are not honouring the deal. I will let you to pick up who we will ask, but it has to be a Nordic.”

“Okay, okay”, Denmark said and quickly compared his options. He wanted to try all he could to keep Norway out of the mess, so he would not ask his love to help. Sweden would laugh at him, and Denmark didn’t feel like he could take any Swede laughing at him right then. Finland would have been a good choice, but Denmark was sure the Finn would tell everything to Sweden sooner or later, so there wasn’t really more than one option.

“Island”, he said, “but let me call him first and explain.”

“Very well”, his boss said, “I give you 24 hours to discuss with him before I contact the Icelandic government on the issue.”

“Thanks”, Denmark muttered.

“You will be fine”, his boss said, finally showing more sympathy, “keep low profile and focus to be as human as possible, and this will be over soon.”

“I hope so”, Denmark muttered and shortly said goodbye to his boss. When he placed the phone on the bed and let a deep sigh, the two other nations glanced at him with mixed looks of worry and sympathy. They have been standing near enough to hear most of the call and guess rest, so Denmark didn’t need to explain them.

“It will be okay”, Canada said softly after a while and patted the Dane’s shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

Iceland had spent the day with mostly listening his brother. The Norwegian wasn’t even talking to him, but it was hard to miss his voice when he was using unusually loud and angry tone. Even when he was in another room, Iceland still could hear is voice and words that were turning harsher after every time he didn’t get what he wanted.  He had already long ago passed the point that Iceland would have called it been safe to actually talk with him. Norway was angry, worried and getting impatient after every passing moment.

“They are hiding something”, he muttered and marched past after yet another unsuccessful call, “I don’t like this.”

“Maybe he just forgot to charge his phone?” Iceland asked, although he too was starting to think something was wrong. It had been already almost a full day since they had heard from the Dane, and that was far from normal. Even if he was too busy to call, he would have somehow replied to Norway. There was no way he could just ignored the Norwegian personification.

“He just doesn’t forget to charge his phone for the whole day”, Norway said, his anger showing on his face, “and his assistants… Even his boss and queen, they all know something. They are telling me only lies.”

“Maybe you should sit down for a moment?” Iceland asked carefully but was not surprised to see his brother shaking his head and walking off to threat another Dane that was trying to keep the Danish personification’s whereabouts as a secret. Iceland sighed and quietly wrote yet another message to Sweden to ask if he had got anything new. The reply he got back was just like the others earlier; Sweden and Finland had no news, but they were both ready to travel to Denmark if they didn’t hear about the Dane soon. Iceland was sure Norway was planning same, and in fact he hadn’t yet done it only because he hadn’t yet got a permission from his boss to have a personal invasion into the Danish land. Iceland hoped Denmark would show up soon or something horrible would happen as the Norwegian nation was getting furious because of his worry and the lies he was hearing.

The phone ringing startled the Icelander and even more surprised he was to see the caller-ID. He slid his finger across the screen and frowned when taking the call.

“Dan? Where are you?” he asked without waiting for the man to speak or wasting time for greetings, “Nore is…”

“Don’t tell him anything”, Denmark said quickly, making the Icelander frown more.

“What you…”

“I will explain”, Denmark said, “just don’t let Nor know, okay? He is not with you now?”

“Okay. No, I am alone”, Iceland said slowly. He could hear Norway talking in other room, sounding like he was having slightly heated discussion with somebody, so he assumed the man would not hear him.

“So, I have done something”, Denmark said and hesitated, “uh, not really bad, but something not nice.”

“If you killed somebody you better ask Nore to help with hiding the body”, Iceland said, “I don’t know anything about hiding bodies.”

“No, no”, Denmark said quickly, “nobody is dead. Or well, I might be soon.”

“Dan”, Iceland said, “where are you? We can come to get you and…”

“No, it is under control”, Denmark said, “it is just… Nor can not know about it.”

“Danmörk.”

“I was drunk”, the Dane explained, “and somebody tricked me to sign a contract for some reality TV-show. I tried to call it off. I really did, but they refused and then my boss told me I should just do everything because that is the easiest way to get through this without causing more problems.”

“You know you can take a breath between words”, Iceland muttered and used a moment to think what the Dane had said, “do you have any idea how worried we have been? I think Nore is preparing for taking over your land right now just to find out where you are and to cut off some heads or something.”

“Sorry”, Denmark muttered, and Iceland wondered if he had been crying, because his voice sounded low and hoarse. It worried him, because there was no way anything could hurt the Dane to the point he would cry. Unless somebody of family was in danger or he was scared for them.

“Dan, what is it?” the Icelander asked, “what is that program you are talking about? Why can’t I tell Nore, I am sure he would…”

“You know that show for finding a bride for a bachelor?” Denmark asked quietly, “it has twenty something woman competing on who will catch the rich bachelor’s attention and get married with him at the end. It is trash show keeping up popularity only with drama and… uh… sex.”

“Don’t tell me”, Iceland said and took a deep breath, starting to understand why the Dane sounded so depressed, “you are going to be the bachelor?”

“Well, yes.”

“And there will be some women literally fighting for your attention because they want to be rich and famous for a little while?”

“Yeah.”

“They will probably get a bit _too close_ to you and there will be kissing and sleeping around just for the sake to humour people watching the show?”

“Uh, I will try to avoid that sleeping around part…”

“And at the end you will marry one of them in front of cameras?” Iceland asked, “ _that_ show?”

“Yeah, you got it all right”, Denmark muttered sadly. Iceland sighed and listened to make sure his brother was still busy with giving death threats to whoever poor Dane he had on line.

“Danmörk”, he said slowly with slightly threatening tone, “you better hope my brother has mercy on you, because otherwise I will kick your damn ass straight into a volcano. I swear to our old gods, Danmörk.”

“Sounds good for me”, Denmark muttered, the heartbroken tone in his voice making the Icelander feel the man’s pain, although he was supposed to be harsh for his brother’s sake.

“You should tell him”, he said, “shows like that goes around. Sooner or later somebody of _our kind_ will notice and the first thing they do is to ask Nore how he ever let you do it. It is better if he knows before that happens.”

“I can not”, Denmark said, “I just can not. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You will be hurting him anyway”, Iceland said, “I will tell him.”

“No.”

“Dan.”

“Please.” Iceland sighed and shook his head, knowing that simply talking would not change the man’s mind. He carefully crossed his fingers.

“Okay, I will not tell him”, he lied, “but why did you call me then?”

“Thank you, Is”, the Dane said, “I have to ask something else too. I can’t do my duties while this… mess is going on, so I hoped you would be my replacement.”

“So not only I will have to keep your secrets, I will also have to do your work?”

“Well, yeah”, Denmark said, “it is just few months, and they will ask you to do only the most important. My boss will talk with yours to make sure you don’t get too much things to do. I will make it up to you latet.”

“Very well”, Iceland muttered, “was that all the bad news for today?”

“Yeah, for now”, Denmark said, “I will have to go now. I am sorry, Is.”

“You should tell that to my brother”, Iceland muttered, and he could hear the Dane sniffing before the call ended. The Icelander sighed and stared at the wall opposite him, wondering in which kind of mess they were ending up this time.

“Oh damn”, he muttered, “I am Danmark now. Great.” After quickly getting over that realization, he got up from the couch and went to find his brother. It wasn’t hard task at all. He only needed to follow the angry yelling.

“I do not care if this is a matter of national security or secret information”, the Norwegian nation hissed into the phone, “I have to know where is Danmark. I am Norge and I _demand to know where is that damn personification of Danmark_.” Iceland felt sorry for whoever was on the other side of the line and was secretly happy that it wasn’t him. The anger of Norway wasn’t a nice, or safe, thing to face but apparently Denmark’s assistants and bosses had enough loyalty for their country to withstand the angry Norwegian because they did not tell him the answers. Norway almost broke the phone after the call ended.

“Nore”, Iceland said before the man called yet another person, “we need to talk.”

“I am busy”, Norway muttered.

“It is about Dan”, Iceland said and suddenly he had all the attention.

****

“I don’t like this”, Denmark muttered when he and the two other nations were standing in the filming area few days later. Apparently, the producing team didn’t want to waste any time, so the filming was going to start right away and the episodes would be sent out just a day after they had been filmed except the last one that was going to be a live sending. Totally there was going to be twenty episodes, they had told the Dane, two per week which meant Denmark’s torture was going to take only two and half months. Even that was too much, but at least he would be free to leave after it was over.

“It is a bit sketchy, but you will manage”, America said. He and Canada had followed with, taking seriously their duty to give support. Canada had mostly stayed with the Dane, telling people he was a friend, while America had went around to take a closer look on things. Apparently, he had claimed to be a lawyer, and Denmark had been surprised to see how much freedom and calculated respect that had given to the nation. Seemed like the people were more eager to please the lawyer than his so assumed customer.

“I just hope this will be over soon”, the Dane muttered. He hadn’t met the ladies yet, it was meant that they will get the first glance at him during the evening’s episode, so the camera would catch the true first expressions. He had a haunting feeling that those first encounters would really please the producing team, after all Denmark knew very well that he wasn’t bad looking and the team of fashionistas and make-up artists had made sure he looked even more handsome. Only, if it would be Norway and not a group of strange women he was going to meet, the Dane would have been happy about his carefully selected, just perfectly tight on right places clothes and styled hair. Or maybe not about the hair, he thought and sadly touched the locks that had been tamed by the power of a group of determined hair stylists and several hair products that names the Dane didn’t even know how to pronounce.

“Something wrong?” Canada asked after noticing the Dane’s mood going down once again. It had become normal during the past few days, but the Canadian still asked.

“Nor likes my hair messy”, he muttered and sighed sadly, “he would hate to see it like this. It is way too flat, and all the stuff they put here gives a bit slimy feeling when you try to pet it. He would hate this so much.” Canada nodded for understanding.

“Good thing you can wash it away later”, he noted and frowned, “you might need to do it few times to get all the things away, though.”

“Don’t worry”, America said with a grin, “once I have sneaked my way into the producing team, I should be able to make some chances.”

“Really?” Denmark asked and frowned, “what you mean by sneaking into the producing team?”

“I am the land of opportunities”, the American replied and rolled his eyes like that was something the Dane should have known already, “I will just take the opportunities and sooner or later I get to the places. I guess I will not have time to call this whole thing off or make any big chances, but some little things at least.” Denmark blinked and turned to look at the Canadian.

“What he means?” he asked, and Canada shrugged.

“It is just something he does”, he explained, “don’t question it too much, I am pretty sure he doesn’t even understand it fully himself.”

“Okay”, Denmark muttered and sighed when he saw a guy with stage passes hanging on his neck waving, “I guess it is show time. Wish me luck.”

“It will be okay”, Canada said while the American personification showed thumb up.

“Just do your lines”, he said, nodding toward the pile of paper on the picknick table somebody had set nearby, “they wanted you for your looks, not for improvisation skills and brains.”

“Oh, thanks”, Denmark muttered dryly, “that really makes me feel better.” America shrugged, and Canada offer the last comforting smile before the Dane left to do his duties.


	3. Chapter 3

“What have you heard?” Norway demanded to know with so commanding tone that anybody else than Iceland would have flinched away. Iceland himself knew his brother too well to be worried about his acting.

“Sit down”, he said and nodded toward the chair, “and I will tell you.” Norway obeyed, his expression staying stern and angry.

“He can’t be hurt”, he said, “I would have felt it. Is somebody holding him against his will? Tell me names and I will take care of the rest.”

“It is actually not so serious thing”, Iceland replied and didn’t doubt for a moment that Norway would indeed take care of things probably in not pleasant way, “just him being an idiot.” He quickly and carefully explained all the Dane had told him just a moment before. Norway didn’t say anything, only listened and the hint of relaxed expression on his face revealed that his worry was going away. He still looked stern and pissed, so Iceland assumed the Dane wasn’t completely off the hook.

“Why he didn’t call me?” the Norwegian asked after the Iceland was done with the explanation, “I should not be forced to hear about this from my brother.”

“He is scared, I guess”, Iceland said and shrugged, “he asked me to not tell you at all, but that is simply a stupid idea.”

“And still you told me?”

“I can lie”, Iceland said. Norway nodded, glancing at window and thinking before he sighed softly.

“Very well”, he said and pulled a laptop under the papers on his desk, “what he said this show is called?”

“He didn’t say anything”, Iceland replied. Norway nodded and started to type anyway. Just in few minutes he had found what he was looking for and he snorted.

“A bride for the Danish bachelor”, he said and turned the laptop, so Iceland would also see the site of the program that was already now becoming the target of the Norwegian’s hate, “how unoriginal. A lie too. He is definitely not a bachelor, if I have something to say about that.” Iceland spared only a quick glance at the site with glitter and click bait titles. They haven’t yet published any pics of the bachelor, but there wasn’t really doubt about this being the show Denmark had got involved with.

“Nore, maybe you should not look at this site”, Iceland said, carefully checking his brother’s expression though the Norwegian didn’t show much on his face.

“I know what I am doing”, he only muttered and kept scrolling, carefully reading everything and checking the photos of the bride candidates, “none of these women are good enough for him.”

“Nore, seriously”, Iceland said, but Norway only gave him a quick glance before focusing on the laptop again.

“The first episode will be aired in few days”, he noted.

“Are you seriously planning to watch it?”

“No”, Norway replied, “I am not planning. I am going to watch it.” Iceland gave his brother a long look but didn’t bother with explaining why he thought it was a bad idea for Norway to see his lover being seduced on TV. The Norwegian was too stubborn to listen the voice or reasoning.

“Whatever”, Iceland muttered and got up, “I have two nations to run. See you later.” Norway didn’t even glance up from the screen, he only gave the Icelander a small wave and kept scrolling the site, a slight frown on his face.

****

“I can’t believe we are doing this”, Iceland muttered when just a few days later he found himself sitting on couch next to his brother. The fact that the Dane’s show wasn’t going to air in Norway’s land at all had not stopped the Norwegian for figuring out how to buy the rights to see the channel anyway.

“You don’t need to do this”, Norway replied calmly, “but I need to.” During the past few Norway had calmed down and he wasn’t worried anymore, but Iceland could still see something was bothering him when he stared at the TV screen, waiting for the commercials to end and show to start.

“I am not sure if this is good for you”, Iceland noted, but Norway only shrugged.

“Have he called you?” he asked, changing the topic instead.

“No, I have only got few messages about the duties”, Iceland replied, knowing without asking who the Norwegian meant, “I think he is upset. The messages are getting shorter and depressing.”

“He should just call me”, Norway noted, and Iceland nodded. He hadn’t asked, but he guessed Norway was letting the Dane live in misery as a punishment and was only waiting for the man to contact him first. Iceland planned to wait few days and then tell the Dane that Norway already knew everything. Iceland wasn’t too interested about the show at all, but he decided to stay just in case his brother needed help. When the show started, he paid very little attention to all the introduction and the speech of the over excited host. Norway in other hand seemed to be rather interested, and carefully listened everything with a focused look on his face. Iceland found himself thinking that the man’s expression was almost scary.

“None of them is good enough”, he finally noted after the last woman had got her turn to present herself, “they are wasting their time. Danmark would never choose any of them.” Iceland glanced at his brother, giving the man a weird look.

“I guess”, he muttered, “none of them is an immortal Norwegian man, so far that I know.”

“Exactly”, Norway said sounding slightly smug, though Iceland wasn’t sure if he heard right. His brother was taking this whole thing in strange way, and Iceland was starting to wonder if it was just the man’s way to cope with his feelings.

“Are you maybe jealous?” Iceland asked, but he never got a reply for that because the show moved to the next part and Denmark was showed on the screen. Somebody else was clearly decided on his style because it was completely different from his usual appearance. He was smiling, but though it was a friendly smile it was far from his normal one, and it seemed like make-up was covering lot of his expression. Norway gasped quietly, and Iceland glanced at him.

“What have they done to his hair?” the Norwegian asked, squinting his eyes, “it looks horrible.”

“I though you always said it is a messy chaos”, Iceland noted, quietly admitting that he had never seen the Dane with his hair stylised, “they tamed it.”

“I don’t like it”, Norway muttered, bit of anger slipping in his voice.

“The ladies seem to like”, Iceland commented, looking away when the Norwegian gave him a sharp look. The rest of show went on with slightly awkward feeling in the room, and when it was over the Norwegian closed the TV and left the room without saying anything.

****

Denmark sat down with a deep sigh and gave the two nations a sad look. He had opened the buttons of his jacket and took the tie off, but otherwise he didn’t even try to continue undressing himself. He had never thought that something so simple than smiling, talking sweet nonsense and giving ladies roses would have been so mentally exhausting. He rubbed his cheek, trying to get rid of the memory of having it kissed twenty times during the evening. Denmark really hoped his people would not adapt the habit to greet with kisses anytime soon, because he really didn’t like that at all. He had thought that wasn’t a habit in America’s land either, but apparently the producing team had thought it would be good to make the ladies do some “European” things, without checking if the habit of question was a norm in Denmark at all.

“You have… bit here”, Canada said and pointed his left cheek. Denmark grimaced and cleaned his cheek with his sleeve. The white cloth became stained with deep red lipstick.

“Norge doesn’t need to use make-up to be handsome”, he muttered, sounding almost like he was pouting.

“Dude, you speak about him a lot”, America noted, “how long have you been together?” He had settled down on the armchair and seemed to take things easy, or so it looked when he was so relaxed.

“Uh, about 600 years”, Denmark said, “give or take few decades.” His words were met with shocked and surprised looks.

“600 years!” America yelled, “how freaking old are you?”

“I am 1794 years old, or at least about that. There wasn’t really calendars back then so I don’t know for sure”, Denmark replied, looking also confused but for different reason, “why you look so chocked?”

“Dude, you are ancient!”

“Well, I am the oldest kingdom in Europe, but…” Denmark said and then realized something, “oh! I forgot you two are so young!” The two nations gave him long looks, and the Dane gave them apologizing smile.

“You don’t really give out the old, wise man feeling”, Canada noted with a shrug, “I guess we just forget sometimes that so many other nations are much older than us.”

“I guess I should just be happy I got my young looks”, the Dane said with a shrug, ignoring the possible hinting behind the Canadian’s words. Out of habit, he reached to stroke his hair and grimaced when he met the slimy cover of chemicals instead if of the normal gravitation defying mess.

“I need a shower”, he muttered and got up.

“That is a good idea”, Canada noted while working on his laptop, “although you might need more than one go.”

“Yeah”, Denmark muttered. The women of the show had been given accommodation in a house where the cameras were following them, but luckily Denmark’s part wasn’t so interesting when they had free time, so he had been given a place with some privacy. He stumbled into shower, focusing just to get his hair normal again, the stink of perfume off him and forget about the day. After he had rubbed, scrubbed and desperately just hoped the soap would clean his feelings and mind too, he just stood there under the warm water. It was somewhat calming him, and his thoughts focused on the Norwegian man instead of sulking around his new duties. It has been more than two days since he had heard the man’s voice, and few weeks since he had touched the Norwegian. They had never been without contact so long since the humankind had come up with ways to send messages fast to all over the globe, and the Dane had got so used for the advances of the technology that he already felt the need to be with his lover again. He couldn’t even understand how they had been able to spend months, even years, apart during their early days, relying only on incompetent postal system. It felt like an impossible thing to do.

With a deep sigh the Dane leaned back against the wall, letting the water run over him and wrapping his arms around himself. If he closed his eyes and focused very hard, he was able to imagine that it was Norway hugging him. He happily did so and forgot about the time, even ignoring the water gradually turning colder when the warm water started to run out. He refused to get out of his happier imaginations until he heard a knock from the door.

“Hey, dude”, America said and opened the door just enough to make sure the Dane heard him, “are you alive there? You been there so long Mattie thought you don’t know how to use the shower.”

“Yeah, I am fine”, Denmark yelled back and turned off the water.

“Okay, cool”, America said, “I am in the catering team now, wanna have anything special for dinner?”

“I thought you are my lawyer.”

“Yeah, and now I am doing catering too”, the American replied, “opportunities, man, I am taking them.”

“Does that really work?” Denmark muttered when he wrapped a towel around himself. He didn’t expect a reply, but the American had heard him and gave an answer anyway.

“Just wait and see”, he said, “I am gonna get to the places.” The American laughed and walked away, leaving the Dane alone once again. Denmark slowly shook his head, the water dripping from his hair that was already starting its’ gravity defending mission.

“And Nor says I am weird one”, he muttered, and sighed when the memory of the Norwegian man’s voice and look filled up his mind again.


	4. Chapter 4

“You ready for your second filming day?” America asked and got a bad look from the Dane who wasn’t ready at all. He sadly nibbled the sandwich he had got for a lunch, and just tried somehow be mentally ready for the evening.

“There was a last-minute change in the script”, Canada noted when Denmark didn’t comment anything, “he doesn’t like it.”

“Aww, man”, America said and sat down on the couch next to the Dane, “what they wanna you do?”

“Have a Danish lesson with the ladies”, Denmark muttered, “because it is romantic to know your I-married-for-money-partner’s language, I guess.” America and Canada shared a look, and they both shrugged.

“And that is bad because…?”

“I don’t want to speak Danish with them”, Denmark muttered, “last time I spoke Danish it was with Nor.”

“Just teach them another language then”, Canada said, “it is not like they will ever figure out what you are doing.” America gave his brother a long look and snorted.

“For the last time, Mattie”, he said, “my people are capable to speak more than one language, you bilingual moose-freak.”

“So, you would know the difference between Norwegian, Swedish and Danish?” Canada asked and raised his brow. America opened his mouth, closed it again and thought for a moment before speaking.

“Well, not me”, he said, “but I have lots of people who would.”

“Sure you have.”

“Mattie!”

“That is a good idea!” Denmark said, interrupting the well started argument between the brothers, “I will just teach them Swedish instead! I can do pretty good Scanian dialect and that is so messed up Sverige himself can barely talk it.”

“Are you sure that will work?” Canada asked, and the Dane nodded happily. He was sure it would work fine, only native speaker would be able to make the difference and he knew for sure that none of the ladies were native in Swedish or Danish.

To bad he didn’t took a count the fact that the producing team wanted to have as much twists as possible. That was why they had secretly taken care that few of the women already knew some carefully selected phrases and words in Danish, making it look like they were one step ahead to get their rich Danish bachelor, and also to cause more conflicts in the group. The viewers would be thrilled about that plot twist, the producing team thought, everybody would love it. They didn’t tell about it too the Dane in order to catch the realistic surprise on the film.

Still, when the women started to show of their recently gained skills, Denmark was not happy. When they uttered words that held much more meaning than they thought, the same words Norway often whispered in the dark hours of night when they both laid on the bed, and when one of them without knowing better said “jeg elsker dig” with a clumsy accent and giggling following it, Denmark fought to keep the forced smile on his face. He wasn’t allowed to cry on TV. He would do that later when he was alone again.

He wasn’t only one who didn’t like the scene. Far away, in another land and another day, Norway stared at the TV screen with a focused look on his face. Iceland was sitting next to him, but like the last time he paid more attention to his brother’s expressions than the show itself. Norway had been quiet about the whole mess, which worried Iceland. For sure it wasn’t healthy to keep all the things inside, he thought, not even when it was his brother doing that. So he called his boss, and Denmark’s boss too as he was doing the Dane’s job, telling them he would stay at Norway’s home for now. He explained that it would be easier to do his extended job there where he could ask advice from his brother if it was needed. The bosses had been very understanding, Denmark’s boss even mentioning that it was true the Danish nation seemed to work best when he was in Norway’s house although he didn’t know why it was so.  

“Today the ladies are going to learn something very important”, the host said, smiling so widely his pearl white teeth shined, “Danish, the language of romance! Or should we say…” Iceland missed the rest of speech because Norway let a dry laugh that sounded so strange the Icelander almost flinched.

“I wouldn’t call Danish the language of romance”, he muttered with emotionless tone, “and there is no way they can learn anything in 30 minutes.”

“Maybe one of them turn out to be genius with languages”, Iceland noted, but Norway ignored him. Quietly he watched how the women gathered in the room that had been made to slightly look like a class room. The show kept moving on to clips about the things happened earlier, showing the well started drama and conflicts between the women with some well selected interview pieces. It took ridiculous long before anything new really happened, but when Denmark finally started the so-called language lesson, Norway smirked. The sudden show of emotion almost worried the Icelander, who had already decided that his brother was not going well at all.

“That is not Danish”, he said, sounding surprisingly pleased.

“It is not?” Iceland asked, focusing for the TV for a moment and frowning when he heard the words he could have sworn were Danish.

“No”, Norway said, “it is Swedish with Scanian dialect. It is hard to make the difference, especially when he adds bit of his own accent in it.” Iceland focused a bit more, soon starting to pick up the differences from the way how the Dane usually talked. He was chatting with the woman, looking like he wasn’t really giving any special attention to any of them. However, the camera kept focusing on the selected persons, that Iceland assumed had been in centre of drama earlier. Somehow the cuts and camera work managed to make everything just a bit more dramatic, which probably was the idea. Denmark was showing some words, just ordinary ones like sun, dog and raining. He was keeping it innocent, but it seemed like the script had completely different idea. Some of the woman started to flirt, asking the Dane to translate specific things with focus on romance and then giving excited replies and adoration when he complied. The suggestions started to turn flirtier, even sexy and far too brave, and finally some women started to show off their skills, revealing that they had been taught Danish before. This seemed to really encourage them to compete against each other while Denmark just followed with slightly emotionless look on his face. The more the ladies used the Danish words, which were all utterly romantic and flirty, the emptier the look on Dane’s eyes turned.

“Uh, Nore?” Iceland said when a small crack appeared on the TV screen, “why is the screen shattering?” Norway didn’t reply. He just stared at the TV, looking angry when he followed the episode. The crack started to spread, a faint sound of glass slowly breaking barely audible under the music and talk.

“Nore?” Iceland moved slightly farther in case the device was going to explode, but Norway stayed still. The colours on screen started to mix, streaks from the crack causing vibrant colours across the screen. They could still see how the camera focused on a woman with mischievous look on her face, and lips unnaturally deep red. She was going to be the number one of the episode, the audience would love the drama she was bringing in, and she was ready to deliver her winning card.

“I love you”, she said with clumsy, but still clear Danish, and that was the exact moment when the TV screen broke into small pieces that clattered on the floor. The sound and picture disappeared too, implying that the screen wasn’t the only thing broken with the TV. Iceland glanced at his brother, too worried to ask anything but still feeling like he should. Before he figured out how to proceed, the Norwegian took a shaky breath and got up, leaving the room without saying anything. Iceland listened his steps going away until he heard a door closing, and then he looked at the broken pieces of TV laying on the floor. He was hugging the pillow he had picked up to protect him in case something would fly around from the TV.

“The Dane will suffer for this”, he muttered to himself, and got up to clean up the place.


	5. Chapter 5

“Nore?” Iceland called and knocked on the door. He hadn’t seen his brother for a few hours, and the dinner time was drawing close, so he got worried. Norway didn’t reply, but there was nothing magical or physical blocking the door, so Iceland stepped in. First, he didn’t see anybody in his brother’s room, it was just the normal neatly organized room with the weird collection of stuff from different centuries. Iceland didn’t really understand why all three old Viking nations still insisted that it was necessary to keep sharp objects in bedroom. Some of the things clearly belonged to Denmark and were mixed with Norway’s ownings, which was rather normal. Finally, the Icelander’s eyes found the pile of the blankets on the bed and he easily guessed that unless the Norwegian had showed strangely childish and unnecessary behaviour by escaping through window, he was under that pile.

“Nore”, Iceland said and carefully sat on the bed, “are you okay?” That was the first time ever Iceland was in this specific situation, and so he had no idea what to do. Usually it was Norway comforting him, how would he know how to comfort Norway? Honestly, normally he would just have thrown in Denmark and let him to take care of things, but unfortunately Denmark wasn’t available right then and he also happened to be the reason for Norway’s bad mood.

The pile moved and the Norwegian peeked under it, giving his brother a tired look. He didn’t look like he had been crying, but there was the slightly empty look in his eyes hinting that hadn’t been exactly just resting under his blanket pile.

“Yeah”, he still said, “I am fine.”

“No offense”, Iceland said, “but you don’t look fine and you broke the TV.”

“I only lost the control for a while”, Norway said, “it is okay now.”

“I don’t think it is okay”, Iceland said, “Nore, it is not healthy for you to watch that… show. Okay? I haven’t seen you lost control like this since the… you know what.”

“I am old enough to decide myself what is good for me”, the Norwegian man replied, a smile sneaking on his lips to show how much his brother’s effort to take care of him amused him, “I just needed a nap.”

“You don’t take naps, and we both know that”, Iceland noted, “Nore, it is okay to be upset, but not healthy to drive yourself into situations that makes you more upset. Just forget about him for now.” Norway didn’t really agree, but he still looked amused and gave the Icelander a honest smile.

“It really makes me feel better to know you care”, he said.

“Of course I care. I am your brother”, Iceland said. Norway nodded and reached to tug the Icelander’s sleeve, asking him to come closer. Iceland followed the cue, laying down next to his brother and little awkwardly hugging him. The Icelander had never really been a big fan of hugging, and neither was Norway, but sometimes the complicate feelings demanded closeness.

“I am gonna kick Dan into volcano next time I see him”, Iceland muttered. It wasn’t first time they ended up hugging for comfort, but more often it had been Iceland needing it. It felt weirdly calming and confusing to be the one offering comfort instead of the one receiving it.

“Be gentle”, Norway said, “he is still mine.”

“No promises”, Iceland muttered, “he has it coming.” Despite of Iceland threatening the Dane with the fate worse than death, Norway laughed softly and hugged him tighter.

“Thank you, Is”, he said, “I am lucky to have the best brother in the whole world.” Iceland blushed, promptly hiding his face against the Norwegian’s shoulder.

“Shut up”, he muttered, “and we should get up. There is lots of stuff to do, like making dinner and buying new TV… And you got some work to do too. I saw the list your assistant sent in.”

“Of course, of course”, Norway laughed and pushed himself up, “let’s do things, then.” Iceland nodded and moved so his brother could easier untangle himself from the blankets. He frowned when he saw what Norway was wearing.

“Isn’t that Dan’s shirt?” he asked sharply. Norway used a moment to just look at him before nodding shortly.

“Yes”, he said, “as it is my…”

“Nore!” Iceland cut the man off, “this is definitely not healthy anymore!”

“I have always worn Dan’s clothes when he is away. What of this would be unhealthy?” Norway asked, seemly being unaffected by his brother’s worried behaviour. Iceland stared at him a moment longer, and then sighed. He knew Norway wouldn’t admit anything anytime soon.

“Fine”, he muttered, “but I am keeping you on eye. One more of this and I will…” Iceland paused to think, ignoring the Norwegian’s amused smile as well he could.

“You will what?” Norway asked when the silence became just a bit too long.

“I will not tell you”, Iceland said stubbornly, “so you will not come up with any of your sneaky plans to get yourself away.” Norway chuckled and reached to ruffle the Icelander’s hair. His mood had clearly got better, although Iceland couldn’t stop being worried about the Norwegian’s well-being.

“I definitely got the best brother”, he said, smiling softly, “well, let’s see what we can have for dinner and I promise to hold back any sneaky plans.”

“You better”, Iceland huffed and followed after the Norwegian.

*****

“Mattie!” America called for his brother, who simply waited instead of replying, “Mattie! Oh, here you are!”

“I was here also 15 minutes ago when you walked past”, the Canadian noted and slightly moved to get his legs into better position, “and 10 minutes ago when you walked past again.” He had a book on his lap, and he was drawing small, simple sketches on marginals while reading.

“Really? I didn’t notice”, America said.

“Most of time people does not”, Canada noted.

“Why you didn’t say anything then?”

“I hoped you would give up eventually”, the Canadian said, “what you want?”

“Oh yeah, you know where Dan is?” America asked, “I got some fan post for him.”

“He was sulking in his room last time I checked”, Canada replied, “why you have fan post anyway?”

“It is because I am the new courier now!” the American happily claimed and showed the bag hanging over his shoulder, “I deliver everything on this filming site!” Canada looked up from his book, giving the man a long look.

“What happened to the previous courier?” he asked.

“Nothing that you can prove”, the American replied, “because you were not there when he finally got his dream position as a baker in that family owned bakery down street and quit being a courier.”

“That was very nice for him. I hope he will continue pursuing his dream further”, Canada replied.

“Yeah, I think he got the passion and skills. Needs just a bit more training”, the American said with a nod, “he gonna get that own bakery in no time!”

“You were very kind with helping him.”

“Oh no, this was all his doing”, America said and laughed, “I just tasted some his cakes and said like ‘dude, you should so be a baker’! I just happened to know this place that is hiring so I went by to tell I found perfect baker who can start ASAP and it all just went from there.” Canada nodded, knowing that was all he was going to get.

“So, you wanted to see Denmark?” he asked, and America nodded.

“Yeah”, he said, “so see you later, bro.”

“See you”, Canada said, “will I never understand how you managed to find a new job for a guy whose job you wanted, but you didn’t think about checking first if the person you are looking for is in his own room?”

“Did you say something?” America asked, turning to look over his shoulder.

“Eh.”*

“Heh, you know I don’t speak Canadian”, the American replied with a smirk, and waved his hand before walking away.

For American’s defence, the Dane’s room didn’t really look like there was any life in it. The curtains were closed and the lights off. There was no any voice, even the air condition was silent, and the thick curtains blocked the most voices coming from outside. Only the presence America could sense and faint light from a phone let him know that the Danish nation was there.

“Hi, how you doing?” America asked and skipped in, throwing the small pile of envelopes on the bed. Denmark looked up from the corner he was sitting in but didn’t offer a smile.

“Are you asking for real or is this again one of those questions I have to answer ‘I am fine, thanks. You?’ no matter how I am actually feeling?” the Dane asked with a quiet and tired voice that didn’t fit him at all. America shrugged and sat down next to the Danish man.

“Yeah, you got me there”, he said, “what you looking at?”

“Photos”, Denmark muttered. America leaned to take a look, and though Denmark didn’t stop ignoring and scrolling, he didn’t try to hide the screen either.

“Wow, I didn’t know he can smile”, the American commented, “that is Norway, right?”

“Yeah”, Denmark muttered, small warm tone sneaking in his tone for the first time for days, “he can. He smiles all the time.”

“I have never seen that”, America noted, “like he is always all serious and stern in meetings. I don’t think I have ever seen him anywhere else.”

“He has been in your parties few times.”

“So is everybody else”, America said with a shrug, “what I can say? My parties are the best. I don’t got time to talk with every single person there!”

“Yeah, he kinda likes to be by his own”, Denmark muttered and kept scrolling the photos. There was a clear theme that repeated over and over again; the Norwegian was never posing, and the random settings made it look like he hadn’t have even idea about his photo being taken. Otherwise the photos varied from holiday pics to casual home scenery, the only connecting thing being the person they showed.

“Dude, why it looks like you have been taking sneak photos?” America asked.

“He doesn’t want to pose”, Denmark said quietly, stopping for a while looking at the one where the Norwegian was standing on harbour and looking at the sea. The view showed that Denmark had being holding the camera on low level, giving the Norwegian quite powerful stance and making him look taller than he was.

“Why you sound just a bit creepy right now?” America asked, “sitting in dark room, staring at secret photos of you loved one and looking all sad and so?” Finally, Denmark spared a look at the American, his lips pulled into thin line and annoyed look in his eyes.

“It is not creepy”, he claimed, “Nor knows about these photos. If he didn’t approve, I wouldn’t have anything to look at. And…. I….”

“You what?”

“He stopped trying to call”, the Dane muttered sadly and looked down.

“So what?”

“That means he knows”, Denmark explained, “otherwise he would have continued. I know him. He wouldn’t have stopped trying to get to me unless he knew what was going on. He hates me now.”

“Wow, take a breath”, America said, holding up his hands, “I thought Iceland said he will not tell?”

“Island lies a lot”, Denmark muttered, “and is more loyal to Nor than to me.”

“How rude”, America nodded, “though, wasn’t it you who raised him? Can’t really expect more than that with your skills.”

“Listen…”, Denmark started with an angry tone, but America just laughed.

“Dude, I was raised by England”, he said, “just think about that.” Denmark frowned and then calmed down just as fast he had got angry.

“Right”, he muttered, “my condolences.”

“Thanks”, America said with a nod, “so if you not being creepy, what are you sitting here in the dark?”

“Mourning”, Denmark replied simply.

“For what?”

“For my lost love.”

“Dude”, America said, “I thought more age means more wisdom.”

“I am not in mood to listen now”, Denmark muttered, but that didn’t stop the American.

“Well yeah, then it is good I have never cared if somebody listens to me”, he said, “you know. When people are going to broke up… what? 400 years relationship?”

“642”

“Wow, dude, are you two getting tired of each other like ever?” America asked and got another bad look from the Dane, “okay, okay. I meant, nobody would just sit at home if they were gonna break up. They would show up and be furious and break places and so. Not just be quiet and wait.” Denmark seemed to disagree, but he still waited a moment before saying anything and just thought about it.

“You are right”, he said, sounding still way too calm but also less depressed, “he would come here to murder me.”

“Uh, you know, domestic abuse is…”

“Theoretically murder me. If I ever heard his saying….”, Denmark tried to explain, but even the thought of hearing those words from the Norwegian’s lips was too much for him and he couldn’t say it, “…saying that. I think my heart would stop beating.”

“Wow, dude, you really smitten aren’t you?”

“America…”

“Yeah, sorry”, the American laughed, “okay, I gotta go back to job soon. You will survive here, okay?”

“I guess.”

“I brought your fan post!”

“My what?”

“Fan post. Post from fans”, America said, “you know, stuff people send to people they see in TV.”

“Why would anybody ever…”, Denmark started, but then changed his mind about knowing more, “just burn it or do whatever you want.”

“Okay”, the American said with a shrug, “oh, and by the way, the big guys wanna know which girl you wanna get rid of?”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know the idea of the concept is that each week somebody gets…”

“I know that”, Denmark muttered, “I don’t care.”

“What about that one woman who said that one thing?” America asked, grinning slightly when he saw the Dane to catch on.

“We can send her home?” he asked with cautious optimism. America nodded.

“Yeah”, he said, “and you can also decide who gets to spend the coming episode’s hot date with you.”

“What?”

“Oh, I knew you would not like to hear that”, America noted, looking at the Dane’s horrified expression, “don’t you worry, dude, I will fix things, okay. I am already a courier and in no time I will get to the big guy places.”

“Okay”, Denmark muttered, sounding like he wasn’t really sure about what the American could do. America himself seemed to have much less worries about it since he only grinned and picked up the letters before making his way to the door.

“Yeah”, he said, waving his hand for the goodbye, “try to not get too deep into sorrow and remember to eat something, okay? I will go to fix things.”

“Okay”, Denmark said and after brief hesitation added, “thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * The correct use of "eh" has been ensured by maritime Canadians


End file.
